Last Sunday, I received a phone call from an acquaintance who wanted me to intervene in a marital squabble with her husband. Incidentally, I have lost count of the number of times I have been invited to intervene in their quarrels. Sincerely, I do not like having direct involvements in marital affairs, just like I don’t like people involving themselves in mine. I prefer a medium such as what I am doing now, to do that.
What really annoyed me most was that, as in the past, what caused the quarrel was so minor as to make the husband throw out her things and ask her to go back to her family. I was so upset. Sadly, their seven months old baby was caught in the middle of what I chose to call “immaturity in marriage.”
By the grace of God, my marriage will be six years old in September this year. Glory to God 🙂 I can never claim to have a perfect marriage to be a “marriage counselor.” But sincerely, I have learnt a lot in this one-of-a-kind “school” called marriage, to be able to share a few tips, targeted, mainly to those who are planning to get married some day in the near future. However, if you are married, going through my tips will certainly be rewarding.
Marriage is a sweet experience; but where the “rules” are treated with insignificance, or were the man and woman chose not to play by the “rules,” it could just be a prolonged nightmare, so horrifying that it could scare (and have been scaring) single ladies and guys away from it.
Here are a few tips (just 14, to avoid a long list) I have been able to gather in this one-of-a-kind “school” called marriage….
1. Commit your marriage into the hands of God. God knows the past, present and future of your relationship.
2. The immediate thing that happens after marriage is that “I” and “my” ceases to be a priority. “We” and “our” becomes a priority in all that you do.
3. As a matter of “MUST,” you have to adjust your relationship with your male friends and female friends, especially your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend (as the case may be), to reflect your new status.
4. Do unto your spouse as you would have him/her do unto you.
5. Generally, it is being said that men are the heads of the family. I agree. However, note that a good family head MUST be caring, considerate and supportive to the wife.
6. One big mistake a man can make is to insist on a master-servant relationship between himself and his wife.
8. If a man wants to show that he has power, he should not show it on the wife, he should go and sign up with World Wrestling Federation 🙂
9. As much as you can, keep your marital problems away from outsiders.
11. The worst solution to any marital problem is a separation or divorce, especially where you have children.
12. Read my post on 15 wrong reasons to get married.
13. Tolerance, perseverance, understanding, endurance, patience, slow-to-anger and over-looking of trivial issues, are traits spouses MUST imbibe.
14. A 24-hour communication must exist between spouses. Talk to each other. Do not be a boring spouse. Do not make your spouse seek who to share her thoughts with from outside. Do not hide your grievances from each other. Do not bottle up your thoughts towards each other.
In most cases, marriages are what the spouses make them to be !
May the Lord bless us all with marital bliss 🙂
Thanks for your time 🙂
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