Unwanted And Rejected Pregnancies: The Days After…

Image courtesy of Adamr/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Adamr/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There is this pastor. A very strong one at that. He is married, but does not have a child yet. Then suddenly, he falls for the persuasive powers of the devil. First, he impregnates the first daughter of the General Overseer of the church he pastors. Not done, he impregnates the second daughter. Still, seemingly unaware of the gimmicks of the devil, he impregnates a member of the church. In a bid to hide his atrocities, he takes the younger daughter for abortion. She dies in the process. The elder daughter, in a bid to remove the unwanted pregnancy, drinks a concoction given to her by her friends. Bad news…the womb is completely destroyed in the process and had to be removed. The parents of the girls get to know. Hell is let loose….

While he was still being ”burnt in hell,” the other church member tells the pastors wife about the pregnancy. By now I am sure you can imagine the rest of the story…..

In another case, a guy professes “love” to his girlfriend using all sorts of “sweet lies.” Just like all irresponsible guys, he had a mission. He accomplishes it and she gets pregnant. Then reality stares the girl in the face. What she taught was love was just similar to the gimmicks the serpent used to tempt Eve at the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3) and bring sin and suffering into the world. As expected, he rejects the pregnancy, becomes unfriendly, then very aggressive and asks the girl to go and abort the pregnancy. She does and dies in the process. The guy took to his heels and the family of the now deceased girl are thrown into sorrow and mourning.

There are so many of this kind of sad stories of deceit and wickedness ending on a very fatal note. Unwanted or rejected pregnancies are common in all societies. The major reason being the decay in moral standards caused, in part, by societal and peer pressure, modernization, parental failure, and the desire to do what every other person is doing.

Two things I noticed in all rejected or unwanted pregnancies that I know are, firstly, the worst hit is usually the girls/ladies. Secondly, such relationships ALWAYS start on a sweet note and continue like that until the “bad news” is announced – “I am pregnant!!!” I told my kid sister that NO MAN WILL EVER TELL YOU THINGS THAT WILL SCARE YOU AWAY!!! So, she should expect sweet and reassuring words like : “my life is incomplete without you”; you look so sweet“; “I love you so much”; “I can never hurt you”; “you won’t get pregnant”; “if you get pregnant I will marry you”…… In some cases, beneath those sweet and reassuring words is a mission. A mission similar to that of the devil at the Garden of Eden. A mission with sorrow and so much tears waiting to come to fruition.

If you ask me, caution, wisdom, continuous prayers and a lot of parental guidance can abort these missions. Parents have a lot to do to avert the impending doom. It’s very sad to know that some parents have shelved their responsibilities all in the name of modernization and making enough money for the family. One thing that has come to stay is the unrelenting and unrepenting global society that is not interested and does not care about what happens to our children. It’s more like a self-centered trend. But since we care (do we have a choice?), we have to guide our children, especially the girls in issues related to dating, sex and relationships. Outsiders will only guide them to their (outsider’s) own advantage. We cannot afford to be tired. We cannot afford to look away. We cannot afford to move with global trends that have tears and sorrow as the likely outcomes. The best and most trust-worthy teachers and counselor a child can have is the parents!


Thanks for your time.

Food for thought….

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous

than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity”

– Martin Luther King Jr

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GIrls…Zip up !!!

The dream killer called teenage pregnancy

There is a voice behind every dressing

Blaming the devil for our decisions

Let’S Talk About Sex !!!

Condom 2Hmnn. I am very sure I got an ”extra” attention from you on seeing the title of my post. Read on….

Last night I watched a TV Show that addressed a topic very few people, especially mothers, like talking about in public. And that is SEX (sexual intercourse) !!!

It also featured a short drama where a mother told her friend that her daughter asked her about sex. The friend, who did not like the development, said she hoped that the woman (the mother of the girl) cautioned the daughter. She said she did. The girl was thrown into confusion thereafter. If the mother cannot talk to her about sex, then who will.

This programme took me down memory lane. There is this friend of mine I met years back. In the course of one of our discussions she told me she lost her virginity at the age of 17. I asked her if she was not afraid of pregnancy to have fallen for the temptation. She said the boy told her that sex for the first time cannot lead to pregnancy. I asked her if her mother did not teach her about sex, pregnancy and related issues. She said her mother had never discussed such issues with her before. She said the mother used to call her a “small child” anytime she asked her questions relating to sex and relationships with boys. All she knew about sex and related issues came from mainly her friends and her biology teacher who was so shy all through the time he taught them “reproduction.”

So, it’s simple. If you do not teach your kids about sex and other facts of life, you leave them with no other alternative than to get their lessons from outsiders. One of such likely lessons is that a girl cannot get pregnant if she’s having sex for the first time. What a lesson !

A word is enough for the wise.

Thanks for your time.

Related posts:

The dark side of condoms

The dream killer called ”teenage pregnancy”

Parental ”bullying”

Building a strong relationship with your child 

Parent-child relationship gone awry

The Dream Killer called “Teenage Pregnancy”

I just finished listening to a Nigerian radio programme where a teenager shared her bitter experience as a teenage mother.

Image courtesy Jomphong/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy Jomphong/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Asked how she got pregnant, she said it was a mistake. Every teenage mother I have listened to gave the same excuse. Asked who the father was, she said a boy she met on her way to school professed love to her. He then invited her to his house. You know the rest of the story.

She said her parents sent her out of the house and she had to put up with the grand mother in the village, where she did not have any access to anti natal or post natal care. She was even delivered of her baby by traditional birth attendants, with the attendant risks.

The father of the baby? As expected, he rejected the pregnancy. That was the point she had to relocate to the village.

School? It is all over for her. She was in SS1 (1st year of the 3-year secondary education)). she now sells sachet water(pure water, as we call it here in Nigeria).

For this Edo state-born teenager, dreams have been shattered. She had dreams of becoming this or that. She dreamt of getting marrying some day and raising her own family. Now, she’s obviously not sure of these and other dreams.

For her, the only reasonable dream she had now was seeing that her child was not subjected to abject poverty; ensuring that her baby does not die young !

Across the globe, there are similar stories of shattered dreams, if not worse. Some are published and some are just circulated verbally. In all, lessons are supposed to be learnt. But sadly, the number of teenage pregnancies continues to be on the increase. Even as I put this post together, I am sure that the seed of another teenage pregnancy is being planted.

Very sad !

Condom 2Causes ? In my opinion : The media hype on condoms, print and electronic media, global decay in family values, very poor sex education in schools, negative peer and societal influence, surge in information and communications technology, films/videos which give so much “accolades” to sex and relegating God’s words to insignificance.
The list continues.

The best way to address a problem is to examine the causes.

If you look at the causes above you will agree with me that teenage pregnancy is likely to stay with us for as long as man lives on earth. Sadly, that is the truth.

So it comes back to the smallest group where it can be addressed and some success recorded – the family. This is where parental inflence is being put to test. The result of which only time tells.

I hope to have a second part of this all important topic soon.

Thanks for your time.


Related posts :

Building a strong relationship with your child

Parental bullying

The dark side of condoms