Flashback 4 : Wishing You … And I Family Bliss

Image courtesy photostock/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy photostock/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hi Pals. I decided to dedicate my 4th flashback to “FAMILY PEACE.”

The most important community in the world is undoubtedly one’s family. After all the hustling and bustling that we go through everyday, the home provides the best place to unwind.

I have shared quite a few experience, tips and views on this very important topic and I hope you find them useful. If you have read them before, thanks a lot, and I wish you a happy and rewarding reading for a second time 🙂

Please click any of the posts below and savour my tiny contribution towards having and sustaining family bliss….

1. Parent-Child Relationship Gone Awry

2. Building A Strong Relationship With Your Child

3. Marriage Could Turn Out To Be A Nightmare If…

4. Handling Outsider Involvement In Marriages

5. A Humble Woman….

6. Pride Stinks !

7. That Comforter Of Yours Could Just Be A Home – Breaker !

Thanks for your time and wishing us all peace in our homes 🙂

Bloggers for peace

That Comforter Of Yours Could Just Be A Home – Breaker !!!

I cherish peace of mind a lot. I will do everything to have it. One of my favourite quotes (actually mine) goes thus: “if you want to know the value of peace mind, ask those who have lost it.” One place that we need loads of it is in our homes. However, there is this group of people that have ruined this priceless jewel in many homes with their mouths. I call them home-breakers !!!

Home breakers are our friends, brothers, sisters, parents, mothers and fathers-in-law, colleagues, neighbours and other acquaintances, that some of us run to each time we have marital or family problems and rather than try to “quench the fire” in the home, what they do is to, consciouly or unconsciously, “pour petrol into the fire.” Imagine a man who had a quarrel with his wife and then runs to his friend. Who told him that his friend did not have marital issues too? The advice the friend gave to him was that he “should not allow your wife to treat you like a fool…prove to the her that you are the head of the family.” The man goes back home and after a slight provocation, he pounces on his wife and beats her to stupor. That friend is a disgusting home breaker !!!

I am one of the last persons on earth that would take his marital or family problems to outsiders to solve. These are people who may even be having worse family problems. If it comes to that, I would rather tell my Pastor, who, I am sure will take me on the path of peace rather than worsen the problem on ground. After six years of marriage, I have resisted that urge. That is one of the reasons why some people belief that I don’t use to quarrel with my wife 🙂

No matter how bad a situation might be, I strongly feel that “peace in the family” should be the guiding factor when people come to us with their family problems. Any advice or action that is capable of creating more problems MUST be avoided. Anything to the contrary makes one a disgusting home-breaker !!!
What does God have to say about this? Read this: “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple” (Romans 16:17-18)

We are also told that: “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matt 5:9)

Wishing you marital and family bliss 🙂

Thanks for your time.

Related post:
Handling outsider involvement in marriages

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Your Career And Your Family … Which One Comes First ?

Image courtesy Sura Nualpradid/FreeDigitalPhotos.net/

Image courtesy Sura Nualpradid/FreeDigitalPhotos.net/

He’s fifteen. At that tender age, he has already assumed the huge responsibility of being a mother and a father to three kids. He bathes, feeds, takes care of them and takes them to school. He also teaches them “what he knows.”

Before you begin to wonder if he is an hermaphrodite, let me quickly tell you that this little father-mother is just a house help !!!
This is a real life story and not fiction. Similar stories are found everywhere, except in my home 🙂 There is one bad thing about making money – it makes you forget that there are some things it cannot buy. A child from a very wealthy home once said to me out of frustration, “I have everything, except parental love.” Her parents are never around. They leave very early for work and come back very late at night. Even when they are around, it’s still work-work-work !!! For her, everything she knows comes from outsiders. Mummy or daddy have no time to teach her anything. Fun? That it is a different issue entirely – no outings as a family, no sitting down and watching TV together, no parent-child playing together and no sign of having parents !
Between couples, the inability of  a man or woman to maintain a good balance between work and the family has led to strained relationships/marriages and divorce in extreme cases. Some cases of staying out late into the nights, eating out  and adultery are also traceable to the inability to strike a balance between giving your career the best attention it deserves and at the same time, not making one’s family to be deprived of care, love, and attention. Hey! Where ever we go, we still need to go back home. So, it is compulsory that  in all that we do, the home front has to be given a well-deserved attention.
A man’s regular presence in the house cannot be over emphasised. His presence provides a psychological security for his family, plays a major role in discipline, reduces or eliminates the tendency towards adultery, reduces the tendency for the children to “learn” from outside the family and keeps the family bond strong. It also teaches the male children how to be a good family man in future. This, I learnt from my late dad 🙂 For me, the best thing about closing time at work is that not too long I would be with my family. It is the best place to unwind after a hard day’s work 🙂 Even when I have to go and unwind after work, I go with my lovely family, who would not even spare my phone lines as soon as it is time for me to be at home, and I am not there.
My late mum’s friend’s marriage almost hit the rocks when the lady resigned from the public service for a very lucrative bank job. The huge salary she got replaced the happy family she once had. Having a good time with her family stopped. Cooking for the family stopped. Playing with the children stopped. Having time for her husband stopped. In fact, the female house help “took over” the house. She was lucky the maid did not take over her husband too 🙂 When she noticed that her marriage and family were heading towards a collapse, she had to make a quick and hard decision – her career or her family? She chose her family !!!
Which one would you have chosen? 🙂
Thanks for you time

Related posts :

The arduous task of parenting in the 21st century

Divorce and separation : The fate of children

Blaming the devil for our decisions

What are we teaching our children