Unwanted And Rejected Pregnancies: The Days After…

Image courtesy of Adamr/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Adamr/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There is this pastor. A very strong one at that. He is married, but does not have a child yet. Then suddenly, he falls for the persuasive powers of the devil. First, he impregnates the first daughter of the General Overseer of the church he pastors. Not done, he impregnates the second daughter. Still, seemingly unaware of the gimmicks of the devil, he impregnates a member of the church. In a bid to hide his atrocities, he takes the younger daughter for abortion. She dies in the process. The elder daughter, in a bid to remove the unwanted pregnancy, drinks a concoction given to her by her friends. Bad news…the womb is completely destroyed in the process and had to be removed. The parents of the girls get to know. Hell is let loose….

While he was still being ”burnt in hell,” the other church member tells the pastors wife about the pregnancy. By now I am sure you can imagine the rest of the story…..

In another case, a guy professes “love” to his girlfriend using all sorts of “sweet lies.” Just like all irresponsible guys, he had a mission. He accomplishes it and she gets pregnant. Then reality stares the girl in the face. What she taught was love was just similar to the gimmicks the serpent used to tempt Eve at the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3) and bring sin and suffering into the world. As expected, he rejects the pregnancy, becomes unfriendly, then very aggressive and asks the girl to go and abort the pregnancy. She does and dies in the process. The guy took to his heels and the family of the now deceased girl are thrown into sorrow and mourning.

There are so many of this kind of sad stories of deceit and wickedness ending on a very fatal note. Unwanted or rejected pregnancies are common in all societies. The major reason being the decay in moral standards caused, in part, by societal and peer pressure, modernization, parental failure, and the desire to do what every other person is doing.

Two things I noticed in all rejected or unwanted pregnancies that I know are, firstly, the worst hit is usually the girls/ladies. Secondly, such relationships ALWAYS start on a sweet note and continue like that until the “bad news” is announced – “I am pregnant!!!” I told my kid sister that NO MAN WILL EVER TELL YOU THINGS THAT WILL SCARE YOU AWAY!!! So, she should expect sweet and reassuring words like : “my life is incomplete without you”; you look so sweet“; “I love you so much”; “I can never hurt you”; “you won’t get pregnant”; “if you get pregnant I will marry you”…… In some cases, beneath those sweet and reassuring words is a mission. A mission similar to that of the devil at the Garden of Eden. A mission with sorrow and so much tears waiting to come to fruition.

If you ask me, caution, wisdom, continuous prayers and a lot of parental guidance can abort these missions. Parents have a lot to do to avert the impending doom. It’s very sad to know that some parents have shelved their responsibilities all in the name of modernization and making enough money for the family. One thing that has come to stay is the unrelenting and unrepenting global society that is not interested and does not care about what happens to our children. It’s more like a self-centered trend. But since we care (do we have a choice?), we have to guide our children, especially the girls in issues related to dating, sex and relationships. Outsiders will only guide them to their (outsider’s) own advantage. We cannot afford to be tired. We cannot afford to look away. We cannot afford to move with global trends that have tears and sorrow as the likely outcomes. The best and most trust-worthy teachers and counselor a child can have is the parents!


Thanks for your time.

Food for thought….

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous

than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity”

– Martin Luther King Jr

Related posts:

GIrls…Zip up !!!

The dream killer called teenage pregnancy

There is a voice behind every dressing

Blaming the devil for our decisions

Keep Your Head Up. You Will Soon Become A Mother/Father !!!

Image ccourtesy of David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image ccourtesy of David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I  got married in September 2007. By July 24, 2008, God, by His amazing grace, blessed me with a son. As an advocate of child-spacing, my second child, a lovely angelic princess of God’s Kingdom, arrived July last year.

My testimony is the type many couples would love to share after marriage. Sadly, for some, it is not so – months have turned into years, in an experience that only those who are going through it can really tell how it hurts.

Waiting on God for a child could really be a horrible experience, especially when months turns into years. It has destroyed a lot of marriages and has pushed a lot of couples, who, in their desperation, have ended up seeking help from ”man” who ”gave” them children that later turned out to be objects of pain, sorrow and regrets.

The society too, is not helpful. Childless couples, especially the women, are looked down upon and they are usually subjects of gossips. Parents of the couple, especially the husband, become restless and suggestive. The height of these apprehension is the suggestion by the parents of the man that he should take another wife. Interestingly, the mood is usually so disturbing that such suggestions come without actually finding out the cause of the problem.

I do not know why the inspiration to do this post became my priority today, because I already have 15 other topics on the queue which I have not yet had the time to develop. It is obvious there is somebody out there that GOD really wants to say KEEP YOUR HEAD UP. YOU WILL SOON BECOME A MOTHER/FATHER !!!

The good news is that I know of people who patiently, though painfully, waited on God for the fruit of the womb and are today very happy couples. Specifically, I know of three, ten and sixteen years of waiting that ended up in HALLELUJAHHH !!!   I also know of this very inspiring and interesting story in the Bible…..

“Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart,

Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old?

and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?” (Gen 17:17)

“Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, 

After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?

And the Lord said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh,

saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old?

Is any thing too hard for the Lord?” (Gen 18:12-13)  

“And the Lord visited Sarah as he had said,

and the Lord did unto Sarah as he had spoken.

For Sarah conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age,

at the set time of which God had spoken to him.” (Gen 21:1-2)

GOD IS STILL GOD !!! Have you been waiting on God for your own baby? Are you tired?  Just hold on…..a little while…..a little while…..keep praying…..keep praying…..keep putting Him in remembrance. KEEP YOUR  HEAD UP. YOU WILL CARRY YOUR BABY SOON, in the mighty name of Jesus, amen !!!!

The Place Of STAFF MOTIVATION In Business

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/DigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/DigitalPhotos.net

My first major stint at managing people was at the “tender” age of 26. This was the first major job I got after my national service. Interestingly, all the major staffers were older than I was. By my position, I was next to the CEO. In all, we were about thirty or thereabout. The driver assigned to my office as the Manager, Admin/Accounts, was old enough to be my granddad. So, I had a dilemma – how do I make these people work, because they were practically not ready to be ordered around by a “small boy!” This, they used both words and action to tell me. How do I conquer my age “disadvantage” and prove to my boss that the Federal Government of Nigeria Scholarship I won back in school for emerging tops in my department (Business Administration and management), and for which my boss was so impressed about, was not a fluke. One thing was certain – I was faced with a practical business management challenge, common with many managers – and that was motivating my subordinates to work, against all odds!

Staff motivation is one of the major functions of a manager. It could be very challenging and dangerous for a business where a manager(s) does not know what motivation means; or does not know the difference between ‘force” and motivation; or at what point a worker needs to be motivated; or what approach to adopt to suite each worker.

In my characteristic manner, I will make it as simple as possible. Simply put, motivation is the act of giving somebody a reason or incentive to do something desired. In business sense, it involves doing things that will make a worker to work. It involves making a worker do what you want him to do, even when it is against his wish. It involves making a disgruntled worker to work.

The question is – what makes workers to work? There is no generally acceptable answer to this question as what motivates a worker might not motivate another. Douglass McGregorAbraham Maslow, Elton Mayo, Fredrick TaylorFrederick Herzsberg and other experts in the field of human capital management, carried out studies, years back, into this very crucial function of a manager – all attempting to find out what really motivates a worker and what does not. I will not bore you with the details. I have however provided links for further reading. But it suffices to say that their work ended up with varied results, thus showing that staff motivation is indeed a complex function of a manager.

As a Business Management student I carried out a number of research work on motivation as part of my course. My finding was that the best approach to motivation was what I call the Michael Monday’s DISCOVERY APPROACH TO MOTIVATION. This was the magic wand I used (and still use) and it really worked (and has been working) for me. It involves finding out what really makes a worker to work. Is it money? Promotion? Giving a staff responsibility? Conducive working environment? Welfare packages? Care and concern? Praises? Showing respect to subordinates? Or the use of force/threats? The list continues….The use of force/threats have been found to be the most counterproductive. It has been found to breed unhappy, unfriendly, aggressive, criminally-minded and eye-service workers, who only work when they see you.

You might ask: what happens where the number of workers is enormous? Simple!  Make use of other managers down the line. This is where regular meetings become handy. That is what I did. It is usually counterproductive to assume that a method that worked on one staff or in another organisation will work for a particular staff or your organisation. Time is also of the essence in motivation. This is the main reason why some motivational efforts have failed!  Eventually, the worker[s] is fired for his/her poor attitude to work! The fact is that the in-coming staff will come with his/her own traits, different from the erstwhile staff. Where the same mistake/assumption is made, the cycle repeats itself. In this process, a number of organisations have lost key staffers who were simply not properly motivated to work.

An indisputable fact is that a manager’s success or failure is mainly judged by what he is able to achieve…usually through his subordinates. If you agree, then it means that motivation is a very vital function of a manager or business owner.

So, are you a manager or an entrepreneur with people working under you? Do you know that EVERY successful business today, has well motivated staffers as one of its secrets? Do you know what motivates your workers to excel at work? Can you say you have been motivating them properly? 

Wishing you loads of best wishes in your business management.

Thanks for your time.

Related post:

Take good care of your employees…