Dry Bones Shall Rise Again !!!

“Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre. And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus. And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments. And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee, Saying, ‘The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again'”- (Luke 24:1-7)

Surely they killed & buried Him and thought it was over for Him. But they forgot about His resurrection Power !

That same power that raised Jesus from the dead is hereby activated for our enjoyment. Everything dead and buried thing in our life is hereby brought back to life to flourish in Jesus name. Every challenge, sorrow, pain, sickness, lack, and everything that is not of God in our lifes is hereby, by the ressurection of our Lord Jesus, rolled way in Jesus name, amen.

“And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.” – (Matt 28:2)

HAPPY EASTER !!!

 

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Girls And Greed !!!

Source : mediflip.com

Source : mediflip.com

I just received this joke on my blackberry messenger : Maths Gone Wrong!!!  A bank manager confused with his maths, asked his secretary to help out: “I have N23,000,000. What will you take off to get 25%?”

She replied “Sir, honestly I will take off my blouse, my skirt, my bra even my panties” 🙂 :).  It sounds funny, but it brings to the fore a very serious societal/global problem – GREED !!!

Greed cuts across gender, race, location and forms. But the one I really want to address here is greed among girls/ladies.

Recently, we read about the horrible story of three female undergraduates. Weather real or imaginary, one cannot overlook the alarming rate of greed among girls these days. Gory news have ceased to scare or deter these die-hard girls from their “runs.” Pastors and high-handedness of some parents have equally failed to stem theses escapades. University campuses have been turned to business centers where we have alarming cases of sex-for-money, sex-for-material things or sex-for-grades.

No wonder I once worked with an accounting graduate who could not draw up a simple Trading Account. No wonder, a medical doctor cannot handle a simple malaria case. No wonder a mechanical engineer does not know the difference between a brake pedal and a clutch pedal. No wonder a teacher cannot teach unless she reads a written material and then and explains what she has read. No wonder a lawyer cannot argue cases successfully in court. No wonder…No wonder..

This sad trend transcends the campuses into the larger society. The craze to “belong” and to be a “big babe” has reduced girls to cheap prostitutes. To make matters worse, secondary school girls have been bitten by the bug. Soon, they will “graduate” to the next level when they enter the university.

It is an open secret that girls use the best of phones, especially the blackberry, most of which are “payments for services rendered.” One opened up that she did not buy her Blackberry Torch with her own money – as if I did not know.

The most interesting aspect of all these is the contribution of parents! Why would my daughter live beyond my provisions and I appear unconcerned? Why should a parent actually send their daughter to go and collect money from one “money-bag” that they hardly know? Why would a parent be unconcerned about the kind of friends that their daughters keep. Why do parents shy away from paying their children, especially the girls, surprise visits on their campuses?

Levi 19: 29 says : “Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a shore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness.” “For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.” (Prov 23:27-28).

As these “big babes” forge ahead with their “trade”, they persuade their friends and onlookers, directly or indirectly, to join their “runs.” They flaunt their “rewards” before all that care to look and give you dozens of reasons to justify their actions. Prov 7: 25-27 says : “Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.”

One thing greed usually does is to “blind’ its victims and equally make them ‘deaf ‘to words that would pull the off its firm claws. In the end, when catastrophe strikes, the victim is left all alone to be comforted, in most cases, by regrets, blames and sorrow. However, in some cases, the victim never has the opportunity to tell her story.

Right now, the National Agency for Prohibition of Traffic in Persons and Other Related Matters (NAPTIP) has been on the trail of human traffikers, who have succeeded in traffiking many greedy Nigerian girls into prostitution abroad. Sadly, some of these girls may never see their families again!

Even though my post could just be like dropping a pin in a very busy market, I leave you with the words of God : “The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise. He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul…”(Prov 15:31-32)

A word is enough for the wise !

Thanks for your time and have a blissful Easter.

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What A Friend We Have In Jesus

Here I go again talking about my wonderful late dad. My late dad told us when he was alive to be very careful with those people we call friends. To buttress his point, he told us of what happened to him when he was living in a city called Jos, here in Nigeria. He had a “well trusted friend” – the kind of friend you eat with, drink with and sleep, with your two eyes closed. The type you would describe as “my best friend.” Unknown to him, the guy was a devil in human clothing. One day, on his return from work, his well trusted friend had cleared everything in the house they both shared and disappeared into thin air. He had to start all over again.

Consider this true life story too. A man dates a lady for years (call her Miss A). Unknown to her, the man had been dating another lady (call her Miss B). He concludes marriage with this secret lover and goes ahead to circulate the invitation cards which a friend of Miss A runs into and shows to her! You can imagine a 100 pounder reducing to less than 55 pounds. It was a horrible experience for her.

Consider this one too. A guy is jobless for many years. He luckily runs into an old friend of his who works in a bank. He is assisted to get into the bank by his friend. To show that truly “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked….”(Jere 17:9), he conspires against his friend who helped him into the bank and the guy is fired. Later, life took a downward turn for the sacked friend. He turns to his friend for help and he simply tells him to stay away after helping him once.

Are you tired or bored? One last gist – A man lives with his happy family. The wife’s friend comes visiting one day. She becomes friends with her friend’s husband. In no time, the man starts having an affair with the wife’s friend. The wife gets to know and a once peaceful and enviable family becomes a war zone. In the end, they head to the court for a divorce.

Betrayals, deceit, lies, insincerity, dishonesty, infidelity, backstabbing, selfishness, conspiracy, eye-service, amongst others are the order of the day in today’s friendship and relationships.

But this is true and genuine friendship – the friendship of our Lord Jesus? – cursed, bruised, kicked, insulted, disgraced, betrayed and nailed, and later died on the cross that you and I could live; that our sinful lives could be washed clean”…for the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” – (Romana 6:23).

A real friend that He is, “He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed – (Isaiah 53:5).

This is true and genuine friendship. What a friend we have in Jesus.

HAPPY EASTER TO YOU ALL !!!

 

Related post :

The amazing grace of God

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Dealing With Post-Divorce-Syndrome

it wont rain 4 everI am very sorry if you have read about my parents before in other blog post of mine. It is just that they provide me a readily available case study of some of life’s issues that I have addressed in my blog. One of which is a very thorny issue – divorce !

Growing up with, and living with them for twenty seven years of my life made life always (back then) seem so simple and without challenges. They, like I noted in one of my post, were the most sincere, honest and good-hearted humans I have ever known. They abhorred bad things like no other person I have ever known. My dad did not smoke, drink, club, keep late nights or womanise. My mum, as a wife, made marriage appealing to me, even at a very young age. The are my role models for life.

Thus, as a husband, my dad was the best. His life style made us have a “wrong” impression about relationships/marriage – we were made to see relationship/marriage as a union of two people ordained by God to live with each other happily ever after. My mum too returned the “gesture” by carrying herself as a wife should, judging from what our pastors used to preach then about family life and all the films we used to watch on TV dealing with family life – humility from the woman, honesty and sincerity, assisting the man, shunning infidelity, trust for my dad, respect for my dad, doing to my dad what she would want my dad to do to her, and much more. I saw all of this play out in their marriage and our home. It was a wonderful place to grow up.

However, as we were gradually released to the larger society, I soon discovered that marriage went beyond what I saw at home. I got to know that indeed, it was possible for a blissful and envied union to go sour just like a very delicious soup could suddenly become uneatable. It became very hard to belief that a couple that loved each other so much and decided to live together for life, could both stand in a court room and consent to the fact that the marriage had broken down over irreconcilable differences.  At that moment, nothing is important other than the final pronouncement of the judge that it was all over. Not even the post-divorce fate of the children, if any, is important at that moment. And then the much-awaited pronouncement comes….and it is all over !!!

And then what follows???

What follows is better imagined than experienced.  I call the aftermath of a divorce POST-DIVORCE-SYNDROME. Please do not Google this as you might not find an exact search result. I put the words together to describe all the pains, bitterness, trauma, feeling of disappointment, regret, frustration, anger, confusion, destabilisation, sicknesses, constant tears, loneliness, emotional wreckage and break down, disappointment in God and even death resulting from health complications that may follow the divorce.

Come on!!! The tale of woe enumerated above must not be allowed to have their way, especially death, which is very possible. But they are there – waiting to consume the divorcee. There they are, without listening ears.  One cannot tell them not to come. They keep coming. One takes over the divorcee, over powers him/her and beckons on another, and then another, until the divorcee becomes inconsolable.

No doubt, when the divorcee is told to “deal” with the situation, you keep hearing stuffs like “it’s not easy.” Yes! I know it’s not easy. But YOU MUST DEAL WITH THE SITUATION BEFORE IT DEALS WITH YOU, BIG TIME!!! Simple ! If the divorcee however says “what do I do?” ; then I can say “now you are talking!”

A friend of mine went through her post-divorce-syndrome with a fighter’s approach. Her attitude was four-fold : firstly, she had to stay strong  and stay alive for her kids ; secondly, her husband must not be given the joy of laughing over her misery after all that he did that led to the divorce and thirdly, all the tale of woe enumerated above have no ears. You cannot tell them to go back or not to “deal” with you. Fourthly, life just had to go on, even though, seemingly, in a dark tunnel. But the point that could not be taken from her was that the dark tunnel had an end, and how long she would spend in the tunnel ENTIRELY DEPENDED ON HER !!!

I really admire her courage and fighting spirit. Today, she seems to be far better than when she was in the troubled marriage. She looks prettier, calm and happier and has re-focused towards a better future. In fact, her attitude helped the kids a lot to absorb the reality of their new family situation. There is no doubt that as a human being, the thought of the divorce would creep in once in a while, but like I do when the recent death of my sister, who died during child birth, comes to my mind, she “arrests” the thought immediately.  It has to be arrested. If not, it takes over the whole being. The fact that she runs her own business has also helped a lot. Being busy has really helped the recovery and healing process. She is also the out-going type – friendly and love outings a lot. Divorcees need to fill their minds always with things that interests them and make them happy – things that nourish the flesh, body and mind. It is more like tapping into the saying that “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”

Come on !!! There are so many divorcees that have moved on. In fact, some, like my friend, are grateful to God for the divorce or separation. Do you know that there are marriages/relationships that are not approved by God? Proverbs 16:25 says :  “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”  And in Proverbs 21:2 we read that : “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.”

Do you also know that there are some marriages that should not have taken place  in the first place?   Some marriages are simply errors ! Praying regularly can free one from the “land of bondage.”  For some, divorce ( or separation) brings in fresh air not felt while the marriage lasted. For some, divorce, unknowingly, could just be the key that was needed for a spectacular breakthrough that had long been delayed.

And hey !! I know divorcees that have re-married, moved on and later discovered why God “master-minded” the divorce. They later discover that all the tears were actually “good riddance to bad rubbish!”  I am actually talking from a personal experience. I had four and half years of my life wasted by a “smooth operator.” I kept praying and committing the relationship into God’s hands when I noticed the “hand writing on the wall.” At His appointed time, He revealed to me that I was actually planning to marry a “mistake!” I have been married for about six years now and can confidently say that separation/divorce could just be a saving grace from God.

Divorce, though painful, should be seen as one of life’s many battles. Humans are supposed to think their way out of them and not allow them to swallow us up. I have been through a traumatic separation before. I simply refused it to consume me; and I know people who have moved on by dealing with the post-divorce-syndrome.

So, are you a divorcee or do you know one? Please give them my message – deal with the problem, or it will deal with you, big time….this can also include death !!!

Thanks  for your time.

DEDICATION….

This post is a special dedication to my friend Wanderlustryramblings and another lady(names withheld for confidentiality), who has been a great source of inspiration to me. This is wishing the two of you and affected visitors to my blog, the fastest post-divorce healing ever.

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15 Wrong Reasons To Get Married!

Wishing you marital bliss

Wishing you marital bliss

Hi. I got this beautiful message from from Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s facebook page. I am sure it would be very useful to you or someone you know…..

1. You must not get married because of lust.

2. Infatuation (Love at first sight- sudden love)
3. Just liking the idea of marriage. It’s just like joining the Army because you like the uniform. Nobody joins the army with a promise that he won’t go to war.4. The fear of remaining unmarried(my friends are all married, my sisters are all
married e.t.c)5. Pressure (parents, friends, etc)

6. Because you want to escape being jilted (if he is the right man/woman, he or she wont jilt you)

7. Getting married for money (money does not guarantee a successful marriage at all.

8. Using marriage as an escape route! [I am tired of mom and dad]

9. Having pity… (feeling sorry for the Man or the Woman.)

10. Foolish Expectation……[Marrying an unbeliever and expecting him/her to change in the course marriage! especially if they don’t change before you marry them]

11. Marrying for Beauty or Handsomeness…….[The best time to access a woman properly is absolutely when she wakes up in the morning!] Let him see you as you are Now!!!

12. Accidental PREGNANCY! [Just because you become pregnant along the line doesn’t mean you have to bury your destiny there.

13. Tribal Connection [I must marry someone from my town.,,etc…]

14. To satisfy your Parents.

15. Marrying to hurt your Parent

Dr D.K Olukoya (MFM)

Divorce !!!….Live must go on…..

wanderlustry ramblings

The months after separation I was racked with overwhelming bouts of bitterness. Whenever I went out I saw happy couples, I looked out of my window and I saw young mothers around my age playing with their kids while greeting their husbands returning from office. These scenes played out in front of me every day and the bitterness refused to go. This continued till I found an anonymous quote: It is best to leave your ex’s where you found them.

Bitterness is like poison, it spreads through your body, mind and life. Before you know it, you will be a slave to the bitterness, spewing in anger at everything you lost because of your ex rather than working towards achieving what you want. Bitterness feeds on anger which takes over your life making it difficult to let go and start afresh. During the time I was fighting the bitterness…

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Handling Outsider Involvement In Marriages

Source:quotediary.me

A neighbour of mine approached me and told me how lucky I was to have a very good wife. I smiled and asked him how he knew I had a good wife. He said he has never heard us quarrel before. I smiled at him again and asked him : “do you know why you have never heard us quarrel before?” He said he knew – that my wife is very good in all respects. I burst into laughter and then asked him : “do you know that we quarrelled this morning?” There was this expression of shock on his face. He exclaimed: “it’s a lie!” I told him that we quarrel just like every other couple does, but when we do, we keep it within us. So, the reason why he has never seen us quarrel in our five years of being neighbours, was obviously because we did not want him or anybody for that matter, to know about our problems. In his own case, he is fond of taking their quarrel outside to the full view of ever attentive neighbours. The one that touches me me most is how the children beg their parents, in tears, to “sheath their swords.”

I once had a very bitter experience about two years ago. I had a quarrel with my wife, disregarding the presence of my then 3 year+ son. I noticed tears in his eyes and still ignored him. He walked up to me and put his hand on my lap while looking up to my face. He did not utter a sound. But his silence spoke his mind. I felt a strong guilt give me a “hot slap.” Instantly, we (me and my wife) kept quiet. I carried him up and took him to the balcony and pacified him. That incident marked a turning point in my life. I vowed to myself that no matter what, I would never quarrel with my wife again in the presence of my kids. So, it comes back to keeping my quarrels between me and my wife.

Still keeping marital problems between partners, one of the greatest destroyers of families is outsider influence! For God’s sake, what makes a man or woman think that the person that they are telling about their marital problems does not have a greater problem that is yet to be resolved? What makes them even think that the “problem solver” really cares or means well for the troubled marriage? I have heard of a case of a woman who was stylishly kicked out of her matrimonial home by the same person she was always running to each time she had a problem with her husband.

As for couple’s parents, I see it as a sign of immaturity, as far as marriage is concerned, where a man or woman is so quick to run to his or her parents to report their partners.

One of my wife’s greatest sins against me is to involve outsiders in our marital problems. This she knows. Outsiders can never love a marriage more than the couple themselves.

The only person I trust and I am sure can completely and perfectly heal any marital problem, without any regrets and hidden agenda is God almighty.

In extreme cases, a well trusted man of God can be involved. However, I doubt if I would ever do this anyway.

So, for me, my marital problems stays between me and my wife….and God.
Why ? Read this : “Woe to them that go down to Egypt for help; and stay on horses, and trust in chariots, because they are many; and in horsemen, because they are very strong; but they look not unto the Holy One of Israel, neither seek the Lord!” (Isaiah 31:1)

A word is enough for the wise.

Thanks for your time.

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When you seek help from man

What are we teaching our children?

Divorce and separation : The fate of children

That comforter of yours could just be a home-breaker

When You Seek Help From Man…

Its been a long time I sat down to watch a movie at home. Today, I was very busy as usual while my family was watching a Nigerian movie. I did not really pay attention to the film until when I heard some ladies, who were so desperate to “catch” and marry rich white men, plan to go and seek the help of a Spiritualist when things went awry among them.

Just as I expected, they would be helped, but at a price. They were asked to bring the under pants of the white guys, a 3 months old baby, vulture’s egg, an unused lip stick and one hundred thousand naira cash ( about $640 ), among others.

As the spiritualist was mentioning all the things they had to bring, I was just wondering why they prefered to spend so much to get help; and worse still, why they would prefer to spill the blood of an innocent 3 month old baby, when God almighty will not ask for a dime to give them all they wanted and much more.

Even though it was a film, it was a reflection of what is going on in our societies, globally, today.

Just as expected, their rituals back fired big time! Misery, sorrow, illness, insanity and regrets became their “friends.” This happens in the real world on per second basis everyday.

All over the world, people run after man for help for wealth, positions, fruit of the womb, acquisition of properties, luck, success, security and much more – all in the name of “God is too slow” or “I am not the first to do it” or perhaps out of lack of belief in God. And sometimes, they result from the strong persuasion of friends and/or family members.

Most often than not, these people eventually have their “granted requets” spiced up with sorrow and regrets. In some cases, they have to carry “burdens” for the rest of their lifes, if their “granted request” is to continue to have potency or is to be sustained. Also common are many “dos” and “donts.”

When the burden becomes too hard to bear any further, the next thing that happens is that they start running to God for help – the same God that they relegated to the background in their moment of desperation. Pastors are also put through the arduous task of carrying out deliverance service(s) or days of fasting and prayers for such people, that is, if it is not too late.

Psalm 118: 8-9 says : “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in prince.”

The good news is that God is awesomely magnanimous and merciful. 2 Chron 6:14 ) says : “…there is no God like thee in the heaven, nor in the earth; which keepest covenant, and shewest mercy unto thy servants, that walk before thee with all their hearts.”

However, for those of us who have chosen to always go to God with for all our heart desires, the good news is that “the Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamen 3:25-26).

We will wait for as long as it takes because “the blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it. ( Prov 10:22).

This is the kind of blessing I wish myself, my family, my friends and you, because …

“he, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.[s]” (Prov 29:1).

Thanks for your time.

 

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Handling Outsider Involvement In Marriages

Withholding what belongs to God

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The Travails Of An Aging Single Lady !

travails

Image courtesy FreeDigitalPhotos.net/
imagerymajestic

On my way back from work yesterday, I overheard a discussion between two ladies – one apparently married and the other a single. The married lady seemed not to be happy over her friend’s choice of partner. According to her, he does not suit her status – academically and financially. But in response, the single lady unconsciously exclaimed : “am 42 for crying out loud!” Her exclamation actually aroused the attention of everybody in the bus. She added: “I know how long it took me to pin down this one.” From their discussion, it was revealed that the lady was actually older than her partner by seven years ! She raised serious issues like early menopause and shame as some of the her reasons. She also said her younger sisters are all married.

Cases like this abound everywhere – that is, true love being relegated to insignificance in crucial circumstances such as this. Then I asked : how long will this relationship last? Can a relationship whereby a lady has to “pin down” a guy for fear of waiting for so long again really stand the test of time? Will the guy not wake up one day and suddenly discover that he has been dating, or got married (if they eventually do) to his big “aunt”? What’s the point dating or getting married to someone without any iota of love existing between them? Is it a crime to be single? I am not aware of any law in the world that makes spinsterhood or bachelorhood a crime. I am only aware of societal and family pressures. Are these enough for a man or woman to place himself/herself on a life-time of  “what did I do to myself?”

Too many questions already; yet I have more : which is better? – to stay single and be relatively happy or to “force” oneself into a relationship or marriage because of the age factor and then live a life of regrets? Well, in my own opinion, divorce is a whole kettle of problems on its own!

No doubt, my questions appear “simple”; but I know that they are questions, which, if not prayerfully handled can put one’s life through installment death! They are questions which an affected person needs the help of someone who knows the beginning and the end of every relationship. Such a person should be able to give an advice that can NEVER lead to regrets.
This is where God Almighty comes in. He is a perfect decision maker – no mistakes, no regrets, perfect timing and He knows your partner inside out. In these days of insincerity in relationships, one can do with some help from this omnipresent and caring father.

Choosing a life-time partner is one of the most delicate decisions that we all have to make in our journey through life. It calls for a lot of caution, wisdom and very importantly, a lot of prayers. When mistakes are made the consequences are usually not pleasant. The only people who would agree to this are those who are right now saying “had known” or “Lord, quickly bring this nightmare to an end.”

God really cares for us if we seek His help in ALL circumstances. It requires a deliberate hand-over of our affairs to Him. And what do you get in return…

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jere 29:11)

So, “Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” (Psalm 37:5)

God bless us all.

Related posts:

The malaise called delayed marriage

Divorce and separation : The fate of children

Searching for true love