Searching For True Love ?

Image courtesy photostock/

Image courtesy photostock/

I watched an interview granted by two octogenarians who had been married for over 50 years. Yeah…50 years !!!  Holding hands throughout the interview, they looked like today’s lovers whose relationship had just started.

Fifty years is quite a long time. What is s the secret? Their answer included perseverance, tolerance, no materialism, contentment, patience, trust, constant communication, sincererity to one another …. And to sum it all, TRUE LOVE – straight from the heart.

Over time, I have been searching for the real definition of true love. Dictionaries have not really helped.  I have heard two people say I love you to each other. Not too long they were separated. How come the ‘’love’’ could not keep them together. Or could it be said that some type of love does not include endurance and tolerance. Does a guy or lady really want to say ‘I love’ when they actually wanted to say ‘I like you or I admire you?’ It goes to show that so many of us do not actually know the real meaning of love. How do you explain a situation where a couple constantly fight, curse, pack out and park in, cheat on each other, and yet you still hear them say to each other ‘I love you’.

A pastor friend told me of a marriage that lasted for just eight hours. Yes! Eight hours. Eight hours earlier, I believed they had said   ‘I love you’ to each other. Celebrities are the worse hit of this so-called kind of love. Did you observe that after all the glamour and media hype that usually goes with most celebrities’ wedding, it usually does not last? The reason is not hard to deduce – the ‘I love you’ they said to each other were simply different from the one that can keep a couple together till death do them apart.

The result of being unable to draw a thick line between pure love, infatuation, admiration, love-with-a-motive and love-with-a-reason, are not pleasant : heartbreaks, depression, mental issues, polygamy and even bigamy, breakups, divorce, single parentage and sometimes death!!!

I might not be able to give a a generally acceptable definition of love, but one thing I know too well is that love does not come from the mouth /lips ; it comes from the heart. Love is based on nothing. True love should not be traceable to anything. It can be likened to the pure and unconditional love of God, which is shown on all despite tribe, gender, religion or even level of sins committed. If love is based on something, then it will fade away as soon as that thing is no more there. If it is love-with-a-mission, it comes to an end as soon as the mission is either aborted or accomplished. If it is material love, it will fade away as soon as your satisfaction reaches a climax, and there is nothing new anymore.

So, my advice is simple : do not settle for the love that comes from the lips. It will NOT last. When true love comes, even your heart will jump for joy, because true love comes from the heart – pure and real.

And if you believe in God almighty, be prayerful, because God answers prayers. He is the only one who has the ability to search the darkest corners of your partner’s heart, and guide you appropriately. There is so much deception everywhere these days. It takes the amazing grace of God to find the ‘flesh of my flesh, and ”the bones of my bones.” I have been deceived before for four and a half years by a lady who appeared like a saint. She was a ‘smooth operator’. I caught her red handed four times with another guy!!!  I forgave her each time. Yet she professed love. It took dedicated prayers to bring down the ‘’walls of Jericho’’ that she apparently and unknowingly was.

So you see that it takes the amazing grace and mercies of God not to be a victim of  the so-called love that comes from the lips – the type that is very common these days.

It is my prayer that you find true love … if you are searching for one.

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